Now THIS is gonna be an interesting one...
A.,
Where do I begin with this? Maybe right from the beginning...
I loved you more than I should have. Took me 9 years to figure that out. You know what made me realize it? When I became willing to screw your husband just to be with you. It was stupid, and I never should have, but hey, I loved you enough to want to see you satisfied. All it did was make him hate me more because he didn't move you like I did. It also made him want me as much as he hated me. And yes, I faked it with him EVERY SINGLE TIME. I didn't want him touching me, but you got off on it. Another lesson in being willing to lower my standards. You'd have to see the letter to Glen to understand why I said that. When I finally couldn't stand it anymore, I stopped letting him touch me. I still loved you, but I had decided to love ME more. And he was a lousy lay. Yes, love. Your husband is a LAME FUCK. I still have no idea how you couldn't see that. Maybe you became numb to him after all those years. I just couldn't stomach his penis near me anymore. I knew he hated me, and most days he was angry at you for loving me. The way he behaved prior to his encarceration proved that. You said yourself that the whole time he was locked up he asked you to apologize to everyone in your circle BUT ME. I guess he never realized that everything you went through with him, I went through too. Probably wouldn't even care. Oh well. C'est la vie...
I will always love you. We've shared one spectacular night in the 13 years we've known each other. I will always treasure that.
Your homie,
H.
3 comments:
WOW! I'm glad you aren't dealing with him anymore! In fact, I hope you're doing all you can to purge the toxicity of holding memories of the people who meant you no good.
In awe of your erotic truth...period.
Writing this one was tough. As much as she and I have shared, I can't say this to her. She's not ready to hear it. Thank you for listening, though... :)
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