30 Days of Erotic Truth #10: Purged

Task: A letter to the person you regret screwing .. tell em how you really feel…



Glen,

Wow, where do I start?

You were my first love, and I adored you. I damn near worshipped the ground you walked on. You accepted me and my daughter, and treated her like she was your own. You took me from a teenager thinking I was really doing something in the world, to a woman who could handle her own in any situation. You were the only man to show me patience and teach me how to give head WELL. You gave me a beautiful daughter.

You were also the only man to put his hands on me violently. I'd had a previous boyfriend who used to get very rough with me, but that was only during sex. YOU, however, felt the need to try to control me through abuse. I had never been slapped EVER in my life until I met you. I had never been slapped repeatedly, at times until I couldn't see or hear, but that was your punishment of choice. I know in my heart that the only reason you stopped was because I became pregnant with our daughter.

I'd never had a jailbird boyfriend until you either. I always thought I was too good to be waiting for someone who figured doing wrong was their only option until they got caught and wound up doing time. You weren't in jail long, but I loved you so much I lowered my standard for you. I never should have. It opened the door for me lowering my standards again and again for you and then others after you.

Lastly, you showed me that love will make a person do almost anything, including fall into abject despair when it ends. You cheated on me, told me my mother was interfering in our relationship, pushed me to move out on my own, still cheated, told your side bitch I was crazy, told me your side bitch was on drugs and just letting you sleep on her couch, and ultimately left us for the side bitch. I thought my world was ending. I became severely depressed, and eventually started drinking heavily to compensate. I met a good man who loved me and my girls, but I screwed him over because I couldn't get over you. He ended up leaving me. Side Bitch ended up trying to kill you...TWICE. Our daughter was only 3 by then.

In the time since then, we've fucked and sucked on and off for many years. Me believing I still loved you, and you still loved me. I got married, but still couldn't stay away from you. You got married too, but have been cheating on her stupid ass since before you married her. Your youngest daughter bears that truth out. Now instead of dealing with you when you cheat, she'd rather fight the chicks you're screwing. Like I said, stupid. I was stupid too, though. You have been pretty much a non-factor in our daughter's life since she was 2. She's 19 now and has a closer relationship with your father than with you. You've proven time and again that the most important person in YOUR life, is YOU. Your heavy drinking bears that truth out too. Even when you lost your only son, our daughter's big brother, you're always so consumed with your own grief that you have lived in a vodka bottle and you've managed to push her away. It shouldn't suprise you that she wants nothing more to do with you. Not on your terms anyway.

I guess I need to get to the crux of why I'm writing this letter. I honestly regret fucking you. The best thing you ever gave me was our daughter. I learned some valuable lessons in dealing with you, but I could have done without the abuse, heartache, and misery I had to endure to learn them. That first night we fucked, the first night we ever met, was good, but you could have kept the dick to yourself fa real. I recently found out that you're still screwing your other 2 baby mamas. It's a damn shame, really. The more things change... Well, our daughter is graduating high school in 1 week and plans to enter the navy. You should feel proud. She's done all of this in spite of you. I know I'm proud of her. No man has put his hands on me violently since you did. I'd kill a muthafucka first. I'm beating my depression, and have a good life, and good husband to prove it. I've also found the most beautiful love in the world. It ain't perfect, but he's perfect for me. I finally learned that life moves on without you.

I hope you live the life you deserve.

Always stronger than you think,
Harmony