I've accepted it and
chose to carry on
So why does this still hurt?
I know he loves me
My place with him is secure but
my heart, she beats unsure
Riding high less than a day before
Now I feel… disconnected
Why am I so affected?
I miss his voice
his kiss, his caress
I miss laying my head
against his strong chest and
just listening to his heart
talk to mine
I know it does
and I hate to whine but
I feel… disconnected
When did I become this needy girl?
I'm ready to curl up and
cry myself into a coma
the aroma of loneliness
thick in my nostrils and
heavy on my tongue
I want to run and hide away
mostly from myself;
put these feelings on a shelf
in the back of some forgotten closet
before I lose it
I hate being so… disconnected
I need me back again
Some things are meant
to be left undiscovered…
Even in our never ending quest
to learn and grow,
some shit we just don't
need to know
Like,
the way she looks at you,
pleading for acceptance,
when you burrow deep
to the core of her
or the way she shows her
want for you by being wiling
to do any simple thing you say
Ain't no way in hell
anyone else needs to be
privy to such self-depreciation
The imagination can be
dangerous enough without
proof that you can be
just what the evil mind
has conjured
Prayers be made to
the Most High that
I
never fall out of grace;
that place reserved for
those who will never feel
your love is mere inches
above dirt and
Hades' depths…
Even if their steps led them
to such a lowly tier,
I hear their cries for you
in my sleep and I
feel their desire on my skin
It's not my sin or shame
and I place no blame
at the feet of
the one who made no
promises of fealty to
begin with;
just know that they will drift
in and out of my psyche
until you chase their
images away
and I still pray that
the time will never come
where I… am them
